Rolls-Royce Channels Rihanna for Diamond-Clad Elegance

CARS.COM — I’ve always been of the belief that style and elegance cannot be bought. Rolls-Royce begs to differ. The Elegance, a new Ghost model being shown at the 2017 Geneva International Motor Show, is coated in a sparkly exterior paint comprising 1,000 crushed diamonds, among other things. It’s a stunning piece of jewelry — I mean, machinery — to behold. Conspicuous consumption is truly alive and well.

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If diamonds weren’t enough, final exterior touches were applied by a master painter with a “squirrel-hair paintbrush.” If that’s really a thing, I’ve got a fat squirrel residing in my yard whose tail looks perfect for this kind of job. How do I sign him up?

According to the automaker, Rolls-Royce customers “are unapologetic in their lifestyle choices and are proud to showcase this to the world.” No doubt. When one chooses to drive a car coated in diamonds, one desperately wants the world know something. Let your mind wander…

I’d like Rolls-Royce to know something of which they may be unaware since they lack the profound bourgeois pop-culture knowledge that I do: Rihanna kind of beat them to the punch. She released the single “Diamonds” from her album “Unapologetic” in 2012.

This, my friends, is too much of a coincidence to ignore. Rolls-Royce should just give up the Ghost to RiRi and call it a day. As great as I would look in this car, Rihanna is the only one who can pull it off and has a song and the street cred to match.