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“Tony Fouladpour, please, ” we asked the young woman answering the phone at Audi’s North American headquarters in Detroit.

“Just called to let you know that there’s a problem with the 1996 Audi A4 we’ve been testing,” we told Fouladpour, who handles public relations for the German automaker in this country, when he answered the phone. “A group of terrorists spotted the car in the driveway and absconded with the sedan.”

“That’s the same excuse `Motorweek’ gave for not wanting to give the car back,” Fouladpour replied.

“A nearsighted squirrel ran right into our path, and the police have confiscated the car until they can finish the investigation. They’re calling it a hit and run,” we said.

“That’s what Motor Trend said,” Fouladour responded.

“There was an earthquake in Chicago–an 11 on the Richter Scale–and the A4 is buried under tons of rubble,” we told him.

” `Car and Driver’ used that one, but they said it was downtown Ann Arbor,” Fouladpour said.

“The Pope is going to visit, and we lent him the car?”

“The `New World’ tried that one,” Fouladpour said.

“The car is so nice we don’t want to give it up,” we finally and reluctantly admitted.

“Why didn’t you just say so?” Fouladpour replied. “Simply send your check for $30,615. to . . . “

Suddenly aware that the connection was going bad, we hung up.

Amazing, an automaker that only a few years ago was fending off charges of unintended acceleration is warding off unabashed admiration. Go figure.

If you haven’t forgotten the unintended acceleration episode, the Audi A4 will make you forget. It was about 10 years ago that Audi was saddled with charges that some of its 5000 series tended to have a mind of their own. Heard of self-park? These cars would self-go, or so the charges went.

A government investigation concluded that in reaching for the brake pedal, owners struck the accelerator instead–not all that far-fetched an explanation because the Audi accelerator pedal, for some unknown reason, was positioned nearly on top of the brake.

The episode nearly ruined Audi. For what seemed like years, it couldn’t give cars away–even after moving the accelerator pedal and installing a system requiring motorists to apply the brake before shifting out of park into forward or reverse.

To the automaker’s credit, it chose not to pack up and go home, though it really didn’t come up with any eye-popping or mind-boggling products to intentionally accelerate skeptics back into showrooms. Until now.

“We’ve finally re-established ourselves in the market, “Fouladpour said, citing the compact 1996 A4 sedanas an admission ticket.

“And we’ve worked to become a member of the 100 or less club,” he said, referring to the J.D. Power & Associates rating of cars with the fewest problems reported per 100 sold. Audi ranks No. 6 behind Lexus, Infiniti, Saturn, Acura and Volvo with a rating of 89 problems, which is less than the industry average of 103.

“We have no excuses anymore,” he said, meaning it can no longer hide behind the unintended acceleration rap. It has to sell itself on its merits now that it ranks among industry leaders in quality.

With the A4, there’s no need to hide.

The A4 replaces the Audi 90. The A4 is wider and taller than the 90, which makes it roomier and more comfortable. The trunk is spacious and rear seat backs fold to hold such items as skis. A cellular phone fits in the center armrest and two cupholders stand in front of the center console.

The 2.8-liter, 172-horsepower, V-6 is peppy yet quiet and teamed with a 5-speed automatic, the transmission that’s starting to appear from more automakers and will become even more widespread in the quest for optimum shifting smoothness and maximum fuel economy.

The A4 with 5-speed automatic is rated at 18 miles per gallon city/28 m.p.g. highway, 1 m.p.g.m ore in city and highway driving than with a 5-speed manual.

The 2.8-liter, V-6powered the Audi 90, except it has been tweaked to deliver more low-end torque in moving from the stoplight or merging into traffic rather than saving the muscle until you’ve reached 65 m.p.h. and want to pull out to pass on the interstate. And it is quiet.

The A4 is a $30,000 rival of the $35,000 Mercedes-Benz C-Class compacts. It’s a small, entry-level luxury sedan that not only goes where you want, when you want, but it also stops with precision with only a tap on the brake.

Ride and handling are very much like the Mercedes C280, its chief rival. The A4 is surefooted; the suspension cushions you fromroad harshness without being too mushy; and body lean or sway is held to a minimum. The A4 enjoys one advantage over the C280: stop-on-a-dime braking. The Mercedes has too much pedal play. You need to nearly press the pedal to the firewall before feeling the binders go to work. Braking is one of the A4’s strong suits.

The A4 comes with four-wheel, anti-lock brakes; driver- and passenger-side air bags; and an electronically locking differential that serves as a traction assist.

In pulling aggressively from the stop sign on a rain-soaked, puddle-filled road, we could detect a momentary wheel slippage. As quickly as the slippage began, power was transferred to the wheel not sitting in a puddle and the slippage became a memory.

Audi can thank Mercedes for offering a C-Class compact that not only legitimized the entry-level luxury market but also attracted buyers priced out of Japanese luxury cars plagued by yen-induced price leaps.

Folks who wanted luxury, but not a boat, began visiting Mercedes showrooms. Those who wanted luxury, but not a $40,000 to $50,000 price tag, realized the Mercedes name provided the image and the compact C-Class sedan their ticket into the prestige market without having to hand over a ransom.

Mercedes paved the way for the Audi, and the Audi starts at $26,500, or about $5,000 less than the Mercedes, before options.

That’s not to say, of course, that the A4 doesn’t have some shortcomings, such as a right sideview mirror noticeably smaller than that on the driver’s side. You have to spend considerable time adjusting it to the absolute perfect setting for your eyes to quickly pick up objects approaching from the side or behind. The reason for the design was to reduce wind noise when traveling with the window down. We’ll tolerate a few decibels of distraction for the ability to see the competition coming.

Also, to prevent the passenger from opening his or her door onto the car parked alongside, the Audi door opens part way and then pauses. Sometimes it pauses too briefly and then starts coming back at the exiting passenger. But rather than momentary pause, how about simply designing in a stop to prevent bumped knees for passengers leaving the vehicle?

Standard equipment in the A4 includes electronic climate control with a pollen filter; power windows with express up/down; power driver’s seat; power mirrors; power locks; power brakes and steering; cruise control; tilt/telescoping steering wheel; AM/FM stereo with cassette; illuminated vanity mirrors; headlight washers; front and rear carpeted floor mats; 16-inch, all-season, radial tires; child-safe rear door locks; fog lights; walnut wood inlays for dash/console/doors; and pre-wiring for a compact disc changer and phone.

Our test car stickered at $30,615 with the addition of automatic transmission at $930, leather upholstery at $1,280, heated seats/windshield wiper nozzles/driver’s door lock at $450,leather-covered steering wheel at $150, remote locking (using the key fob) at $190, a Bose sound system at $640 and freight at $475.

If you pass on leather seats with bun warmers, you can keep$1,700 in your pocket and drive away with an A4 for less than $3 0,000..

>> 1996 Audi A4 Quattro Wheelbase: 102.6 inches Length: 178 inches Engine: 2.8-liter, 172-h.p. V-6 Transmission: 5-speed manual EPA mileage: 19 m.p.g. city/27 m.p.g. highway Base price: $26,500 Priceas tested: $31,470. Add $1,550 for Quattro all-wheel-drive; $1,280 for leather upholstery; $550 for pearle scent metallic paint; $990 for glass power/tilt/slide sunroof; $190 for remote locking; $450for all-weather package with heated front seats/windshield washer nozzles/driver door lock; $640 for Bose sound system; $150 for leather-covered sport steeringwheel; $160 for rear seat expandable ski storage sack. Freight runs $475. Pluses: All-wheel-drive security regardless of season. Dual air bags. ABS. Low-speed (up to 25 m.p.h.) traction assist. Comfortable and quiet. Smooth-shifting manual. Excellent mileage for all-wheel-drive sedan. Minuses: The 2.8-liter could use a few extra horses–or the car could shed 200 pounds to lighten the load for the 2.8. Rear-seat a tad cramped. You could buy a herd of cows for what leather seating costs you. Remote lock/unlock buttons on key fob a bit slow on the draw.