Mother Proof's view

In the world of ultimate luxury, “work” is a dirty word. Nothing should look difficult, and no one should ever be so tasteless as to break a sweat. The Mercedes-Benz S550 sedan is designed to make sure I never have to lift more than a finger, and in some cases, I don’t even have to do that. With the key in my pocket, the doors unlocked as I approached the car. If I (or the kids) don’t shut the door all the way, the car finished the job for us. It’s the epitome of a luxury car.

The S550 moves with ease and elegance. This car is too well-bred to feel bumps or potholes while driving; it won’t make unseemly noises or offend any passers-by with its power and speed. This is a car that’s comfortable with its superiority. Of course, it’s faster than dignity requires, but then how dignified is it to be beaten by anything else on the road? There’s power beyond what the autobahn requires.

The S550 isn’t the sort of speedster that necessitates a two-handed death grip on the steering wheel. Nope, it’s geared more toward loosely resting a perfectly manicured hand upon the wheel and thinking about where you’d like the car to go. It’s almost telepathic in its responsiveness, much like a fine butler. Actually, now that I think about it, the S550 is exactly like a good butler. It’s perfectly prepared for any situation, and it handles everything with quiet dignity. It’s never surprised and never caught off-guard. All I have to do is speak a wish and the S550 obliges. I mean that literally, because this Mercedes sedan comes with Comand, a cockpit management and data system. All I have to do is tell the car a desired temperature or a wished-for musical selection and my wish is granted. No finger-lifting required.

Picture the most classically elegant luxury sedan imaginable, then add a dash of sportiness to the wheels and lower body styling, and you have the Mercedes-Benz S550. It manages to look modern while maintaining that classic Mercedes look. The chrome grill and upright hood ornament recall bygone days, while a lowered front and sly lighting speak to the technology and speed contained within. Subtle chrome accents show an understated luxury. The body panels are smooth, without any bulges or fabricated lines. It would scream elegance if screaming weren’t so low-rent.

The doors of the S550 somehow manage to be substantial without being too heavy. My kids never had any problems opening or closing them. A proximity key makes sure they unlock before you get there, and the power trunklid makes loading groceries or strollers into this car smooth and easy. Getting in and out is also easy thanks to the wide door openings and a flat stepping surface on the thresholds.

My test car was a special edition Key to the Cure S550, and it came with a few styling options that spoke to the speed and power of this 382-horsepower V-8 sedan. Extended rocker panels give the S550’s profile a low look, keeping things close to the road. Twenty-inch AMG wheels are bigger and bolder than the standard rims. The gorgeous Diamond White Metallic paint job was so rich and creamy I wanted to lick the car. I didn’t, but I bet it would have tasted like buttercream frosting; it’s just yummy. Even better, proceeds from the sale of this special edition S550 benefit women’s cancer research.

I got lots of envious looks while I was driving this Mercedes. Several people said it “looked good on me.” Imagine that-a car that looks flattering on Mom. If only I had the wardrobe to keep pace…

SENSE AND STYLE

Family Friendly (Not Really, Fair, Great, Excellent): Excellent

Fun-Factor (None, Some, Good Times, Groove-On): Groove On

There’s so much packed into the S550’s interior that my brief test-drive only gave me a taste of the possibilities. The seats are made of rich, buttery, perforated leather that’s both heated and ventilated. With a degree of luxury that’s positively seductive, the front seats have a massage feature to make driving as relaxing as getting a pedicure.

Those same seats adjust in 12 ways and have adjustable bolsters that provide bucket-seat-like support. When you turn the car, the seat moves to support your body against the force of the turn. When it first happened, I kind of freaked out a little. I mean, I had no idea that seats could do that, but once I got used to it I loved the support. It’s a great option because the seats are wide, roomy and easy to slide in and out of, but they still provide the support needed for performance driving. You can turn this feature off, if you like. You can also turn on or off the easy-entry system that moves the seat and steering wheel back when the car is put into Park, then returns them to the memory position when the car’s turned back on.

Everything feels clean and smooth in the S550. Leather and wood trim keep the feeling warm and light, and an analog clock in the dash brings a touch of old-world class. A large power sunroof lets in the sun; xenon reading lights and ambient lighting brighten up the night. A large color screen displays the car’s many comfort and convenience options, as well as the navigation system and rearview camera image.

The center console is two-tiered and provides tons of storage, but the cupholders are too far away and don’t accommodate a handled cup very well. Apparently Germans aren’t big fans of drinking (coffee) and driving.

The backseat is just as luxurious as the front; it even has its own set of vanity mirrors. I can only imagine the joy those would bring to teenage girls (thankfully I’ll never know since I have boys). The rear seats are roomy and comfortable for people of all sizes. Because the backseat’s surface is fairly flat, even booster seats fit well. The Latch connectors are easy to get to; they sit beneath flaps that cover them when they’re not in use. There are rear vents as well as two 12-volt outlets for the electronic gear that kids can’t live without, as well as two seatback pockets for storage. There’s two cupholders and more storage in the rear armrest. There’s even storage in the rear doors. Oddly, there are also several ashtrays, which I thought was a bit old-fashioned. Maybe it’s just another German thing.

The entertainment system is top-of-the-line and includes AM/FM radio, Sirius Satellite Radio, a six-CD changer, a memory card reader and an iPod interface. The 14 Harman Kardon speakers made everything sound concert-hall fabulous.

What wasn’t so fabulous was how hard it is to navigate the Comand system. There’s a joystick-like knob to control everything, which is fine, but it’s hard to figure out when to rotate, push or click it. Add into that mix specific voice-control options, as well as old-fashioned buttons, and things got more complicated than I liked. Even after a week of driving and multiple perusings of the manual, I still wasn’t sure of myself when trying to find a radio station; I might end up changing the settings for the seat massagers instead. I felt like I needed a certification course to competently work all the systems.

IT’S THE LITTLE THINGS THAT COUNT

Storage Compartments (Puny, Fair, Ample, Galore): Galore

Cargo/Trunk Space (Puny, Fair, Ample, Galore): Galore

I could go on for days about all the S550’s safety features. Of course, there’s a bunch of airbags, including dual-stage front-impact airbags and side-impact and side curtain airbags for both rows. It’s kinda like driving around in a moon bounce. My point is everyone in the car is protected from impacts in any direction by multiple airbags.

The performance features of the S550 are designed to keep the car on the road, as well as go really, really fast. Full-time 4Matic all-wheel drive gives the driver greater control by making sure each wheel maintains traction. A super-sophisticated suspension system keeps the car level on uneven road surfaces and during turns. Programmable automatic headlights keep the road ahead illuminated with super bright bi-xenon lights that swivel when the front wheels are turned to give greater visibility around curves and corners.

In addition, the good folks at Mercedes found that most drivers don’t brake hard enough in an emergency situation, so they came up with a way for the car to add braking force. A seriously high-tech sonar system measures the distance to the car ahead and adjusts the brake force accordingly. That system is part of the very cool Distronic Plus cruise control system that maintains a set distance between cars while driving. The system also provides Blind Spot Assist, which monitors blind spots. Parking Assist uses the sensors to monitor potential parking spots while driving at low speeds, and it shows a “P” on the dash if the car will fit in the spot. Guidelines appear on the rearview image while in reverse to make parking that much easier.

FAMILY LIFESTAGE

In Diapers: Easy access to the Latch connectors makes it easy to install child-safety seats. A silky smooth ride lets little ones sleep in heavenly peace.

In School: Easy-to-manage doors and seat belts helps kids feel right at home.

Teens: Lots of legroom lets even the lankiest teens lounge in comfort, and there’s multiple charging points for all their electronic gear.