Our view: 2002 Cadillac Escalade

A caution to all passengers in small, compact cars that used to rule the road for reasons more economic than opulent: Beware of the Cadillac Escalade. It will stomp you, grind you and smash you. And that’s only psychologically. If the basketball-sized winged emblem on the front of GM’s 2002 Escalade doesn’t intimidate you, the 17-inch tires, 345 horsepower V-8 engine and Waldorf Astoria interior just might.

We speak from experience. It scared off a friend who parked next to it, then quickly realized his front hood measured up to the edge of the Escalade’s front right tire.

“Geez,” he said. “What a monster.”

You can run from this Caddy. But you can’t hide.

Massive? Titanic? Ready to set sail?

Hey, what do you want? It’s the Cadillac of SUVs. Literally. And that’s saying quite a bit.

Actually, what says more might be the fact this redesigned luxury SUV even exists. At last count, there were more than 50 SUV types to choose from for the new model year. (About 40 more than necessary.) But with oversaturation comes diversification. And – voila – an SUV for every style, size, shape and wallet size. Which is exactly where the new Escalade barges in.

Make no mistake: There’s nothing dainty about this $50k ship. Measuring out at 198.9 inches, or about $3,000 per foot, the Escalade is 5,560 pounds of a GMC Yukon/Denali with a bow tie and gold cuff links. Available in either two-wheel or all-wheel drive, it shares the platform with both “small” trucks but has more power and unique appointments inside and out.

How unique?

Try rear parking-assist that makes like a garbage truck when it backs up, but keeps you from barreling into the trash cans with an audible, interior alarm. Or how about heated front- and second- row seats. Or perhaps the tilt-down power mirrors, seven-lead trailer wiring harness and full-size spare tire.

How useful is it?

Even though the Escalade has no long-wheelbase version, it does come with room for all the Brady kids plus Alice. Or one CEO and six board members, without a hint of scrimping on the surroundings.

And the surroundings and power are what you pay for. Outside, this truck means attitude – sharp creases and a front end the size of a billboard announce its arrival. Inside, it’s a jazz quartet. The extravagance stretches from the wood trim to the leather, but it’s not all for show. Road noise isolation is top-notch, as is a spacious (plenty of head and leg room) interior that includes vats of shoulder width, fine road visibility and ample room for all adults.

Even in the cheap seats (the second row), there is room for three adults on supportive seats. The third-row bench is for junior yacht club members, if only because getting back there requires more limber than any 40-something can rightly admit to.

Instrumentation is a heavy Chevy/GMC copy, well-arranged but more classy and plush – the highest of the high with more controls, knobs and buttons than you know what to do w ith. The ride we will quiver with.

Although the Escalade is still very much a truck in mink’s clothing, it offers a mostly absorbent cush on the road, but is more wallowy than we’d like – as if nearly ready to set sail. It’s not as polished in ride quality as some large SUVs we’ve driven – the Mercedes-Benz ML 430 for one, or the Toyota Land Cruiser – but the electronic chassis controls helps keep things predictable and on the straight and narrow.

Steering the ship takes some thought on its part, more ponderous than pointed, and the steering itself is too light, almost floating in its directional control.

But what a float. The two-wheel-drive models get a 5.3-liter V8 and, upgrade to the all-wheel-drive version and Cadillac loads it up with a class-leading six-liter (6!!) V-8 with 345 horses – or nearly all of Kentucky under the hood. Either way, the Escalade punches off the stoplight and does 0 to 60 mph (in the all-wheel-drive) in an amazing 8.6 seconds, especially for a st with such weight burdens.

So does it work? Depends on the perspective.

If you own a Mobil station and have five kids, it’s perfect. If you don’t, you might want to start digging for oil. The Environmental Protection Agency says the Escalade will rate about 12 mpg in the city and 16 in the highway. We managed 15.2 on the highway and 13 in the city in limited use.

But the Escalade can tow – capacity in AWD is 8,500 and 7,700 in 2WD – and it’s safe. Cadillac gave the Escalade standard front side air bags, anti-lock four-wheel discs, traction control and 17-inch wheels. The all-wheel also gets an anti-skid system and both models the OnStar assistance system for one year – a version that offers hands-free, voice-activated phone capability (without a separate cellular contract) and personalized news, sports, weather and financial information.

But, bonuses aside, the Escalade is a rich man’s ride, a statement maker and an attention graber. It’s big, big, big, and it’s a little impractical unless you’re into owning half the road. Parking was a problem in tight situations and with little space behind the third-row seat – you have to either fold it up and out (each section of the bench weighs less than 40 pounds and can be lifted easily by the average person) – or drop the second row into the floor for added space.

Not that you’ll be hauling pickle juice or barrels of sawdust here.

At a base price of $47,290 in the two-wheel drive, this is not any old lumbar wagon with a sunroof ($1550 more). This is a powerful, all-wheel trip to Disneyland, with style to match.

Cost effective? Not really.

But what was it Elvis said about Caddys? If you can’t afford one, you shouldn’t even be thinking about one. And if you have to think about one, you probably shouldn’t own one.

Elvis never met the Escalade.

2002 CADILLAC ESCALADE SPECS

Rating: 2.5

High gear: Loaded up with a six-liter V-8 and miles of interior space, the Escalade is the rich man’s SUV. It’s large, loaded and ready for any business lunch that requires a leather interior and a sharp exterior that melts the competition.

Low gear: Steering feel is a little loose, and fuel consumption is a lot. Entry and exit can also be a little tough, what with a high-off-the-ground stance and a tough crawl to the third-row seats.

Vehicle type: Rear- or all-wheel drive, front-engine, four-door, five-passenger, full-size sport utility vehicle.

Standard equipment (AWD): Four-speed automatic transmission; traction control; dual front air bags; front side airbags; anti-lock four-wheel disc brakes; rear-parking assist; daytime running lights; OnStar system w/one-year service; air conditioning with dual-zone climate control; rear climate control; variable assist power, tilt steering; cruise control; leather upholstery; 10-way power front seats; heated front- and second-row seats; heated power mirrors; power windows and locks; remote, keyless en try; Bose AM/FM/CD player with six-disc changer; steering wheel radio controls; rain-sensing intermittent wipers; theft-deterrent system; fog lights; roof rack; tow hooks; trailer hitch; anti-skid system.

Competition: Lexus LX470, Lincoln Navigator, Mercedes-Benz ML430

Engine (AWD): 345 horsepower, 6.0-liter V-8

Torque (AWD): 380 foot-lbs. @ 4,000 rpm

Wheelbase: 116 inches

Length: 198.9 inches

MPG rating: 12 mpg city/16 mpg highway

Manufactured: Arlington, Texas

Warranty: Basic warranty is four years/50,000 miles; powertrain warranty is four years/50,000 miles; rust perforation warranty is six years/100,000 miles; roadside assistance warranty is four years/50,000 miles.

Base price (2WD): $47,290

Price as tested (AWD): $50,985