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MY FRIEND Anvari believes that in any five-year span, things will change. No matter how good or bad things are now, five years hence, they will be different.

The truth of her belief became evident in my test drive of the limited-edition 1995 BMW M3. Five years ago, I would’ve loved this electric yellow sports coupe. I would’ve loved its super-tight ride and the near harshness of its sculpted bucket seats.

But, alas, five years have passed — and I hate the car. The fault is not with BMW, nor is it with the M3. It lies with me. I’ve changed.

My bias now is in favor of comfortable cars. I want them to run fast, handle well and all of that. But mostly, I want them to treat my body right. By that measure, the M3 is a flop. The car is “ageist” and “healthist.” It assumes that everyone is a 30-year-old who makes frequent trips to the gym. I ain’t — and I don’t.

Background: The M3 is a pumped-up version of the BMW 325i. The 325i, I love. The M3, you know how I feel about that. Here’s why:

The 325i is by no means humble. It says quite definitely that you’ve arrived. But because it’s equipped with so many recyclable parts and is designed to adhere to a reasonable and somewhat affordable maintenance schedule, its uppitiness is softened by the patina of altruism. In other words, if the 325i were a politician, it would be a liberal Democrat.

The M3, on the political spectrum, is to the right of Attila the Hun. If the thing came with an American flag, it would be in Rush Limbaugh’s garage. It’s so rigid, so unalterably dedicated to performance that the attempt to lighten its personality with a heavy application of yellow paint borders on the ridiculous.

The M3 is best served up in black, which is available and goes well with the car’s no-nonsense, on-a-mission persona.

My auto-buff-book peers, who’ve gone ga-ga over the M3, claim that the car is as comfortable on a lazy Sunday drive as it is competent on a challenging slalom course. They’re full of baloney. With its beefed-up coil springs and reinforced control arms, gas-pressurized shocks and other suspension components, the M3 is decidedly more jarring over bad roads than the 325i. Add to that the M3’s hard, leather-bound bucket seats, and you’ll soon be disinclined to take any trips in the car longer than 300 miles.

The rear-wheel-drive, five-passenger (with a squeeze) M3 is equipped with a 3-liter, inline six-cylinder, 24-valve engine rated 240 horsepower at 6,000 rpm. Maximum torque is set at 225 foot-pounds at 4,250 rpm. The 325i runs with a 2.5-liter, 189-horsepower version of that engine.

M3 standard equipment includes dual-front air bags; power steering, windows and locks; air conditioner; four-wheel, power disc brakes with anti-lock control; and a five-speed manual transmission.

Complaints: ‘Nuff said.

Praise: Fast. Does 0-to-60 in under six seconds. Streaks down the highway with breathtaking agility — until you hit a bump.

Head-turning quotient: Whoever came up with idea of painting the test car that ungodly yellow oughta be striped with the stuff. It turned off lots of folks; but it turned on a few people, including one dude who thought it might be “fly” to install lavender neon lights beneath the rocker panels.

Ride, acceleration and handling: Lousy ride for the soft of butt and wide of hip. Superior handling, acceleration and braking.

Mileage: Close to 23 miles per gallon (17.2-gallon tank, estimated 385-mile range on usable volume of premium unleaded), running mostly highway and driver only.

Sound system: Ten-speaker AM/FM stereo radio and cassette by Alpine. Good, but nowhere near as good as comparable systems in U.S. cars.

Price: Base price on the tested M3 is $35,800. Dealer’s invoice is $30,005. Price as tested is $38,760, including $1,945 in options (sunroof, heated front seats and cruise control), $565 in federal luxury axes and a $450 destination charge.

Purse-strings note: Compare with Mazda RX7, Porsche 968, Nissan 300ZX, Lexus SC300. The M3 is a limited-edition car, with 2,000 copies available this year. That means prices could be considerably higher than those stated here.