Mother Proof's view

When I started writing for MotherProof.com almost four years ago, I had the Porsche Cayenne in my sights as the pinnacle mom-mobile. It’s fast, sporty, fancy and, well, a Porsche I could fit my kids into. I’ve been patiently waiting, hoping for the day a Cayenne showed up at MotherProof.com’s global headquarters. Then one day it did, and our Chief Mom Kristin Varela let me drive it. OMG. Could the Cayenne live up to my dreams?

Oh, yes, it could. However, I first had to realize that the Cayenne is really two cars rolled into one. It’s a sports car and a luxury car. It’s an expensive, high-end SUV with a lovely design that no one notices until after you’re gone. It’s a looker but not an attention hog. It’s got luxurious leather on the inside, and its information system is the best I’ve used. Thanks to an adjustable suspension system, it’s hardcore sporty in Sport mode, still kind of sporty in Normal mode and a calm, chill drive in Comfort mode.

However, what really makes the Cayenne so attractive to me is its deep, sultry-sounding engine. The rumbly V-8 gets an EPA-estimated 11/17 mpg city/highway, and even worse it requires premium fuel. However, if you can afford this pricey SUV – my test car cost $91,185 – you’re probably not counting your pennies at the pump.

What about the kids? Would they love the Cayenne? One look in the backseat gave me pause. The bolstered backseat is great for adults, but they’re the kind of seat that can break a kid’s heart. The bolsters often mess with the fit of child-safety seats. More on that in the Interior section.

Just like my kids in a grassy park, the Cayenne wants to run. I couldn’t deny her. That beautiful engine, paired with the sport suspension and some curvy roads, made me happy. I was grinning even when trolling the grocery store parking lot. I couldn’t help it.

Exterior

The Cayenne’s exterior is really sharp-looking. It’s understated, and its large grille reminds you it’s not just another small SUV. My test car was Crystal Silver Metallic, and it didn’t turn a lot of heads.

However, people who know cars noticed the Cayenne. They checked out its red Porsche brake calipers, and they knew what Cayenne meant (for the record, it means a lot of horsepower and torque, not pepper).

Beware this review could get a little technical because I have to mention these features that go above and beyond a regular ol’ car’s features. The Cayenne has a suspension management system that lowers it 2 centimeters for high-speed stability, but I used this feature to help my kids get in the car more easily. A traction management system sends torque where it’s needed (front or rear), and it also allows you to go into low-range gearing for off-road use and towing.

The Cayenne has all the fun features I look for in a car of this caliber: power liftgate, sharp front-end design, fog lights and 21-inch wheels. What it doesn’t have is a rearview camera. This was tricky because visibility wasn’t great in the Cayenne. You can get the optional rearview camera with front and rear parking sensors for $2,670, but my test car didn’t have them.

Driving the Cayenne made up for the lack of a backup camera. What’s the point of looking backward if I’m going forward really fast, like the Cayenne encourages me to? Right? The Cayenne has a top track speed of 157 mph and goes from zero to 60 in 5.7 seconds. Can your small SUV do that? I’ll answer for you: No.

SENSE AND STYLE

Family Friendly (Not Really, Fair, Great, Excellent): Fair-Great

Fun-Factor (None, Some, Good Times, Groove-On): Groove Freakin’ On

Interior

Over the years, the majority of interiors in my test cars have been black. This makes me crazy because black-colored interiors show every scuff mark and crumb. When I looked through the Cayenne’s window and saw it was black, I let out an audible groan. I know I sound spoiled. However, when I opened the door and saw the suede interior I actually squealed in delight. It’s actually Alcantara, a simulated suede, but it sure fooled me. Unlike black leather, it looked so cozy and luxurious, and it behaved accordingly. It was even on the headliner, people. What happens when milk is spilled on suede? I’ll never know because beverages were banned from the backseat.

Beverages in the front seat were a little tricky, too, because the cupholders are too close together. If two lidded cups were put in the side-by-side cupholders, they didn’t fit quite right. Yep, spoiled. The other things that didn’t fit correctly were the kid’s booster seats in the backseat. The rear seats were too bolstered for the boosters to fit properly. While this may not be an issue for parents with bigger kids, this perennial problem has my kids in fits of frustration from the beginning of the test drive to the end. They couldn’t embrace the romance of having booster problems in a Porsche quite the same way I could. However, all non-booster-using passengers who rode in the car were thrilled with its comfort and support.

What other passengers also embraced was the amount of space in the backseat. It was surprising because the Cayenne looks so compact. The cargo area is also surprisingly roomy. It’s not double-stroller roomy, but it is single-kid-stroller roomy. The same can be said for the front seats. They hug, comfort and pamper you with their suede-ness. Mmmm.

On a side note, I thought the interior had a masculine feel because it was nearly all black. For some people this isn’t a big deal, but for me I think I’d have to have a different color interior to counter all the black knobs and switches on the center stack. It’s petty, yes, but if I were buying this SUV I’d need to be completely happy with the fixtures because I’d likely request to be buried in it.

IT’S THE LITTLE THINGS THAT COUNT

Storage Compartments (Puny, Fair, Ample, Galore): Fair

Cargo/Trunk Space (Puny, Fair, Ample, Galore): Ample

Safety

Porsche wouldn’t put all that energy and technology into only a portion of the Cayenne. Safety features abound in this SUV, including front- and side-impact airbags for the front seats. It also has standard side curtain airbags in both rows. Porsche’s airbags are charged with an organic propellant that makes them lighter, more compact and easier to recycle.

In case you need to have a child ride in the front seat, there’s a key-operated switch that turns the front airbag off. I love this feature because I don’t always trust the sensors that are supposed to turn the airbags off. A hard switch is much more reassuring.

The Cayenne is also equipped with antilock brakes with brake assist, traction control and an electronic stability system, which can be disabled for drivers who don’t want any help in that department. However, the electronic stability system remains active in the background, ready to intervene in critical scenarios. Just like a parent.

FAMILY LIFESTAGE

In Diapers: There’s room for a rear-facing infant-safety seat in the second row.

In School: The bolstered backseat makes it difficult to install convertible car seats and booster seats.

Teens: They’ll love this car, but I suggest you never let them drive it. Ever.