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THEY ASKED me to pick up the stripper, but told me not to getexcited. When I saw the car, the 1988 Chevrolet Sprint Metro, I knewwhat they meant.

Folks, we’re talking basic. We’re talking the kind of car somedealers advertise in bold print, but never have on their showroomfloors.

The Metro has four wheels. It has five windows, four seats — sortof — and it has a five-speed manual gearbox. It has a heater,steering wheel and fuel gauge, a speedometer, and a gauge to measureengine temperature.

Yeah, Virgil and Virginia, there’s an engine — a 1-liter,3-cylinder, carbureted job that cranks out 48 hp at 5,100 rpm.

But the Metro lacks much; and not all of those missing parts arefrills.

‘Twould be nice, for example, if this car had a right sideviewmirror. What’s the matter with Suzuki and General Motors, respectivelythe maker and marketer of the Metro? Don’t they believe that economy-carbuyers have an equal right to safety?

The Metro is aptly named. It’s a great little car for scooting backand forth to work, as long as work isn’t more than 20 miles away fromhome, and it’s terrific for darting in and out of city traffic and forparking on congested side streets. But don’t try to take this one on along trip, unless you’re planning to do penance or something.

Complaints: “Basic” shouldn’t have to mean dangerous. It’s bad enoughthat the Metro comes without the necessary right sideview mirror, butthe skinflints who made this one have omitted the electric rear-windowdefogger, too. This is nuts.

If the rear window fogs up, effectively eliminating the use of theinterior rearview mirror, that means the driver is reduced to using thestandard left sideview mirror to check traffic behind the car. That’ssimply too risky.

Praise: What’s there on the front-wheel-drive Metro is well-made. Allseams are tight and right. The four vinyl seats are tough enough to puton a playground. The clutch and the five-speed gearbox are sturdy,durable components.

Two adults can sit comfortably in the forward cabin. Two more cansqueeze into the back in semi-comfort, as long as the trip does not lasttoo long.

Head-turning-quotient: Yawn. But do it gently. You don’t want to blowthis little 1,565-pound thing away.

Ride, acceleration, handling: Awful ride, especially for rearpassengers. The Metro simply does not get along well with bumps.Acceleration is better. This car actually reaches highway speeds of 65mph with little sweat. Handling is reasonable, especially for a carequipped with tiny 12-inch-diameter tires.

Sound system: No radio or anything. But wind and road noises comethrough clearly.

Mileage: Easily 53 to the gallon (8.7-gallon tank, a range of about455 miles on usable volume), combined city-highway, mostly driver only.

Price: $5,725, including $230 transportation charge. Base price is$5,495. Dealer’s invoice price is $5,275, according to AutomobileInvoice Service in San Jose, Cal if.

Purse-strings note: Dealers probably will try to persuade SprintMetro shoppers to purchase the more attractive, better performing TurboSprint coupe, which starts at $8,240. Surely, the dealers are after alarger profit. But in the case of this car, they’re also trying to doyou a favor.

Addendum: In last week’s column about the Buick Reatta, I should havementioned that the car’s engine is a 3.8-liter, fuel-injected V6.