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A 1985 Honda Spree two-wheel moped and a 2000 Lincoln LS four-door sedan.

The ridiculous to the sublime, but two vehicles that serve as examples that trends in our vehicles, like fashion and fame, are fleeting.

So we revisit a trendy vehicle of the ’80s while taking the first trip in what Ford hopes will be a next millennium trend.

Didn’t have to go far for a Spree. Have had one parked in the garage since ’85–a Father’s Day gift from the bottle blonde after she got a 1976 Corvette for Mother’s Day. She insists it was an even exchange.

In ’85, gas was expensive, and Honda Sprees weren’t–at $300 to $400, plus 50 cents a week to fuel the 50-cc machine. But you rode all week at 30 to 35 m.p.h.

Honda dominated the moped market, selling more than 120,000 of them in 1985.

But when the value of the Japanese yen skyrocketed against the dollar, Spree prices doubled overnight. By 1988, Honda’s moped sales sunk to 68,000 units and 37,000 by ’89.

Today, the Spree has given way to the Honda Elite, which starts at $1,650–and still travels only 30 to 35 m.p.h.

Mopeds that used to dot the roadways are now invisible. “The entire moped industry accounted for sales of only 35,000 to 40,000 units last year,” said Peter Ter Horst, spokesman for Honda’s scooter business.

In the mid-’80s, kids were thrilled to take a moped to the beach. Today, older folks strap them to motor homes to have at the vacation retreat or retirement village.

Other than price, nearly every reason for the fading popularity of mopeds involves size, or lack of it, and finding that when motoring on a 65-inch-long two-wheeler,

fellow motorists treat you like a mosquito. Pull around? They’d rather drive over the mope on the moped.

On your high-mileage, 2-horsepower moped, you travel on 10-inch tires. A stone on the pavement looks like a boulder, a pothole like the Grand Canyon, an incline like Mt. McKinley.

Mopeds were promoted as low-cost, high-mileage trainers. Master a moped and move up to a motorcycle that traveled the same speed as cars.

“Only about 8 to 10 percent moved to cycles,” Ter Horst said.

Moving up, however, is a big reason for the 2000 LS, Lincoln’s new entry-level luxury sedan. Lincoln hopes once you’ve grown accustomed to the good life in a $30,000 machine, you’ll migrate up to the $40,000 Town Car or Continental and eventually into the $50,000 Navigator sport-utility.

LS also is an attempt by Lincoln to shed the stodgy image, a formidable task because Lincoln designers were caught napping when the engineers were at the top of their game. The LS grille and creased hood makes it look much like a Mitsubishi Diamante. Is DaimlerChrysler’s Tom Gale the only design guru not comatose?

The LS is built off the same platform as the Jaguar S-Type (Cartalk, May 23). Wherever we drove, folks would gawk at the eye-popping Jaguar; they didn’t even blink at the invisible LS.

There are rumors of cosmetic surgery for ’04. The LS needs it. Y ou may want to hide the front end behind a vinyl “bra.”

LS acts much better than it looks and has a split personality based on choice of the 3-liter, 210-h.p., 24-valve V-6 with 5-speed automatic or 5-speed manual or the 3.9-liter, 252-h.p. V-8 with 5-speed automatic or 5-speed Select Shift, one of those automatic/clutchless manual combos. With the V-6, you have a traditional Lincoln luxury cruiser; with the V-8 more of an out-of-character action machine.

We spent the most time with the V-8 and Select Shift and the V-6 with manual. A 5-speed is offered only because rival BMW has one, and Lincoln feared losing even one sale to the Bimmer Boys. Manuals will account for only 3 percent of LS production of 35,000 cars this year, 70,000 after that.

The Getrag manual is a very smooth, short-throw unit with no balkiness like the Getrag of the ’80s in small General Motors cars. A pleasant performer. But with the V-6, you are going through the motions because it doesn ‘t have the oomph to justify the exercise. Teaming the Getrag and V-8 is under consideration.

The 3.9-liter V-8 delivers about 30 h.p. less than the 4-liter, 280-h.p. V-8 in the S-Type. The 3.9 has ample power, the 4 is quieter.

The LS comes with four-wheel anti-lock brakes and traction control as standard. For maximum enjoyment, add the V-8; Advance Trak stability control ($725); and the sports package ($1,000), with its firmer road-hugging, sports suspension with specially tuned shocks and larger stabilizer bars, specially tuned speed-sensitive, power steering with more precise response and 17-inch, speed-rated (150 m.p.h.) radials.

That combination gives optimum performance. The LS becomes a more nimble, agile machine that sits still in corners and turns and sits flat without front-end dive under hard braking.

With the optional sports package, the steering is tweaked for quicker, more precise reaction. You don’t have to keep moving the wheel to adjust direction, especially in sharp corners.

Advance Trak focuses on lateral stability. It reads acceleration patterns, wheel speeds and steering wheel direction to engage the ABS to make course corrections, especially in sharp corners.

The rear-drive Town Car and front-drive Continental offer the more traditional cushion-your-butt-while-you-glide-over-the-road ride and handling. The LS, when properly equipped, lets you experience the pleasure of driving, not just being along for the ride.

With V-6 and without the sports package and Advance Trak, you’ll get a much softer ride–with less-precise handling.

Rear-wheel-drive scares some Snow Belters, but the LS boasts 50/50 front-to-rear weight distribution to keep both ends in harmony on twisty or slippery roads.

The S-Type comes with a Computer Active Technology Suspension (CATS), a step up from Advance Trak, which you’d expect in a Jaguar that starts at $42,000 (V-6) to $48,000 (V-8) versus $31,715 with V-6/manual (sports package standard), $30,915 with V-6/automatic and $34,690 with V-8/automatic in the LS.

Price is the LS strength–a car that acts like a BMW 5-Series priced like a 3-Series and is a more affordable alternative to a V-6 Lexus ES300 or Cadillac Catera.

To keep the price down, the LS does without a few Jaguar luxuries, such as CATS and voice-activated controls. And a power moonroof is optional at a hefty $995.

The LS, however, offers a free service/maintenance visit. After the first 3,000 miles, bring your car in for a free oil/filter change and an item-by-item, system-by-system check and, if anything needs fixing or replacing, it’s on Lincoln. The next visit is on you.

Noteworthy standard equipment includes leather-covered power seats, dual-zone climate control, moisture-sensitive wipers, cabin air filtration system, dual front and side-impact air bags, digital clock, and dual cupholders with a finicky pop-open cover in the console that doesn’t always open or close on the first try.

Also standard are AM/FM stereo with cassette, comfortable and supportive power front bucket seats (eight-way driver/six-way passenger) that don’t need the memory/power lumbar controls, cruise control, rear-window defroster, heated wiper holder, power mirrors/door locks with anti-lockout, tilt and telescoping steering column and power windows.

An option worth considering is the $960 Emergency Messaging system with cellular phone, similar to GM’s OnStar. Press a button to summon medical or mechanical help. If the air bags deploy, the help desk is automatically alerted.

>> 2000 Lincoln LS
© 1999 Chicago Tribune Wheelbase: 114.5 inches Length: 193.9 inches Engine: 3-liter, 210-h.p. V-6; 3.9-liter, 252-h.p. V-8 Transmission: 5-speed automatic Fuel economy: 18 m.p.g. city/25 m.p.g. highway with V-6; 17/23 with V-8. Base price: $30,915 V-6; $34 ,690 V-8; $31,715 V-6 wit h 5-speed manual. Price as tested: $37,375 (V-8). Includes $725 for Advance Trak stability control; $960 for Emergency Messaging System; $995 for power moonroof; $1,000 for sport package with performance suspension, Select Shift automatic or clutchless manual shifting, 17-inch wheels/tires and full-size spare. Add $535 for freight. Pluses: Base price less than that on Lexus ES300 or Mercedes-Benz C-Class sedans. Much-needed entry-level luxury sedan in Ford lineup. Sport package available. Minuses: Front end looks like Mitsubishi Diamante or Infiniti Q45. Styling much bolder and dramatic on Jaguar S-Type off same platform. To keep cost down LS doesn’t get as much equipment as Jaguar S-Type, namely an active suspension system. >>