The Detroit News's view

Put your hand over your heart and get ready to recite the Pledge of Allegiance with us. After all, you can’t help but feel patriotic after you’ve driven one of the last big rear-drive American V-8s – the 1998 Ford Crown Victoria.

Paul loved the Crown Vic LX, with its upgraded handling, suspension and exterior. That troublemaker Anita (who marched against the Vietnam War and drove a Volkswagen) gave the Crown Vic a lukewarm two stars. You be the judge of whether the $27,345 Crown Vic looks and feels like an anachronism or is one of the last great affordable rides on the American scene.

He: Now hold it just a minute. I never said I liked the Crown Victoria. What I said was it’s the perfect car for its audience. Now that General Motors has killed off the old Chevy Caprice and Buick Roadmaster, the Crown Vic and the Mercury Grand Marquis are the only big, rear-wheel-drive V-8 family sedans left on the market.

She: Left on the planet, you mean. And did you ever wonder why? It’s because they are outdated, outmoded anachronisms. But let me back up because you can give us chapter and verse on the competition, but I’m going to talk about the more important stuff. Like weight. Women worry about buying minivans because they’re afraid that they’ll instantly gain 50 pounds. That’s what minivan backlash is all about. And I’m afraid the same thing could happen in a Crown Vic. It’s so huge that you feel like a little peanut behind the wheel – and you feel like it’s OK to stop at McDonald’s. The first time I drove the Crown Vic it practically steered itself into the drive-through and I found myself eating a greasy fish sandwich and fries. Lucky thing, because I found the Crown Vic cupholders barely hold a medium McDonald’s orange.

He: That’s the flimsiest excuse I’ve ever heard for your lousy eating habits. I think you should give Ford credit for the thoughtful redesign it’s done on the ’98 model. The sheet metal’s been retooled, but only mildly. Most of the money’s been spent underneath the skin, to improve the car’s ride and handling. The result is a full-size car that no longer feels like a boat.

She: This is the same guy who stood outside with three of your guy friends, laughing at the Crown Vic with its spoke wheels and saying the new front end looked like a Dodge Mirada – a car from the 1970s.

He: Remember, I never said I liked the styling.

She: Why are you giving it four stars then?

He: I think Ford knows exactly what Crown Vic buyers want. If they want a plain vanilla car that will tow a good-sized boat or trailer, and that doesn’t look too ostentatious, then Ford hit the nail right on the head.

She: I still say you don’t get as much as you think you do with the Crown Vic. The rear seat is not as spacious as you would expect in a car that’s only slightly smaller than a Lincoln Town Car. It’s 1998, yet you can’t get side air bags on the Crown Vic. Antilock brakes and traction control are optional, not standard.

He: I don’t know what you’re talking about in terms of the rear seat. Did you even sit back there? Compared to the Buick LeSabre, the Crown Vic has more headroom, shoulder room and hip room in the front and rear seats. Plus the LeSabre only comes with a 3.8-liter V-6. The Crown Vic has a 4.6-liter V-8, and if you get the optional handling and performance package, like on our test car, the engine makes 215 horsepower and 275 pounds-feet of torque.

She: You pay the price for the V-8 in terms of gas mileage. The LeSabre gets up to 30 mpg on the highway, while the Crown Vic is only rated at 24. Plus the Buick is front-wheel drive, which brings up a whole different issue. And, yes, I sat back there.

He: I don’t mind rear-drive cars, especially if you can order traction control, which comes bundled with the LX package. For an extra $2,200, you also get ABS, automatic climate control, cast-aluminum wheels, a premium audio system, auto-dimmin ear-view mirror and that silly digital gauge cluster. I neglected to mention the Crown Vic has one of the roomiest trunks on the planet – 20.9 cubic feet, which is positively cavernous.