The Morning Call and Mcall.com's view

I was standing in the garage of a fellow troublemaker, surrounded by the glories of Detroit’s past.

A large, black Buick Riviera gleamed with menace, while nearby the shell of a Buick ’96 awaited restoration to the regal elegance it once proclaimed. A mammoth Packard motored into the bay, its tires only slightly smaller than a Honda Civic.

Then I climbed into the Pontiac Aztek I was test-driving. It only magnified how far Pontiac’s alien-influenced styling has fallen.

This tall, stumpy vehicle polarized all who saw it. Needless to say, it was either, “That’s the coolest car I’ve ever seen” or “What is THAT?”

One co-worker thought it looked like an over-inflated Pontiac LeMans, while an editor just laughed in pure hysterics (and he owns a Chevy!) Overall, there was little love to be found for the pure ugliness of this vehicle, with its acres of tacked-on plastic cladding that didn’t fit particularly well.

If you think this is just my opinion, guess again. According to the trade publication, Automotive News, few Azteks have been seen, even in Detroit, where new cars are on the street before they hit dealers. But even there, few have been seen, except unsold on dealers’ lots. So GM has put 2,300 into service throughout its executive ranks to raise the vehicle’s visibility.

The tall, odd styling has only one graceful line, the arc of the roof. Every other line seems chopped or hacked in some odd way.

But, the vehicle has one advantage: it’s very easy to find in a parking lot, especially in the test vehicle’s bright red color.

The tailgate folds down, while a large glass hatch flips up. The hatch is heavy and lacks a rear wiper to clean off gunk. The plus to the odd design is exceptional rear visibility.

This, um, bold design continues on the interior, as does the acres of plastic. Some may even find the interior palatable. Large gauges are supposed to simulate fighter aircraft. They are easy to read at night, less so during the day, when the background design interferes with the numbers legibility.

The audio system is center-mounted and contains convenient steering wheel-mounted controls. An in-dash 6-CD changer is available. It had good sound and helped ease the pain of the vehicle’s over-aggressive looks. In addition, rear-seat passengers get a set of controls and another set resides in the cargo area for use when tailgating. Neat idea.

The climate control system is equally easy to use, and contains separate temperature controls for driver and passenger. Rear seat passengers get their own vents, but no controls. A power-point is mounted at the back of the rear console.

The front seats are chair-high bucket seats that prove comfortable, even over the long haul. The center console is the one thing I like about this vehicle. It doubles as an insulated cooler that can be lifted out and taken with you.

The rear seats are split-folding affairs and can be removed. There’s no center armrest, although Pontiac does provide rear headrests. The seats are typical GM: low and lacking in support.

If GM can be commended, it’s for trying to make this vehicle versatile, and in that respect it might have succeeded. Two bottle holders are molded into the rear doors, an optional rear cargo tray slides out onto the tailgate to hold up to 400 pounds of gear, a cargo net system adjusts myriad ways and removable utility packs nestled into the front map pockets can be taken with you to tote stuff.

Four “lifestyle” packages are available to spruce your Aztek. The camping package includes a weatherproof tent that fits over the open hatchback, and a fitted air mattress. The biking package includes a bike rack, rubber floor mats and waterproof seats. The hiking package has backpacks that attach to the back of the front seats. The sport appearance package has a hood deflector, vent visors, rubber floor mats and decals.

Okay, so it’s versatile. How does it driv e?

Like many crossover sport utility vehicles, this one is based on a modified version of the GM minivan platform. It’s shorter than the Pontiac Montana, but it’s quite wide. There are two trim levels — base and GT. Right now, only front-wheel drive is available, but GM’s Versatrak all-wheel-drive system will become available soon.

There’s only one engine choice, GM’s 3.4-liter overhead-valve V-6 with 185 horsepower and 210 pound-feet of torque. It’s hitched to a four-speed automatic that has to downshift an awful lot to move the vehicle’s 3,778 pounds. Pontiac gets around this by employing the old Detroit trick of a little pedal travel actuating a lot of engine power. But, there’s no hiding the lack of mid-range oomph. On the up side, mileage is good with 22 mpg in mixed use.

Handling is minivan-like, with a high driving position and soft handling. There’s lots of body lean in corners, so you’ll have to slow down, even in the GT model. The vehicle wallowed, more so than the minivan it’s based on. Large bumps still crashed through to the interior. Blame the rear beam axle, a cost-cutting move favored by many car companies (even the Japanese.)

Four-wheel-drive models get a more sophisticated rear set-up and automatic load-leveling is an option. Brakes are front disc/rear drum; four-wheel-drive models get discs at all four corners. This would be enough to suggest waiting for all-wheel-drive if you’re considering buying an Aztek. Pedal action was mushy, but stopping power was okay. Thoughtfully, Pontiac does make anti-lock brakes and traction control standard.

The Pontiac Aztek starts at $21,995 for the base model. Standard items include power windows and locks, air-conditioning, power mirrors, cargo net, cargo security cover and dual air-bags. The GT-level front-wheel-drive test vehicle started at $24,445 and contains a lot of the goodies mentioned, including steering-wheel-mounted audio controls, removable console, front utility packs, dual-zone climate controls and other features. The almost fully-loaded test vehicle bottom-lined at $27,695.

It’s a shame that such versatility is hidden under the acres of cheap plastic and lumpy styling. After all, the Aztek was chosen as the official vehicle of the New York City Marathon. It must be the only vehicle that even New Yorkers wouldn’t steal.