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SUZUKI MOTOR CO. Ltd. calls its tiny four-wheel-drive vehicle the Samurai. That’s an insult. Samurai warriors in feudal Japan would beat you fair and square. They had honor. By comparison, the Suzuki Samurai is a thug.

No kidding. After riding in this thing, you feel like you’ve been mugged. Certainly, you’ve been bounced and thrown around all over the place.

For goodness’ sake, don’t hit a sizable bump in this one at anything above 10 mph. I did.

I was running at about 25 mph on a dark and lonely road in Northern Virginia. The Samurai was beating me up pretty badly, but, hey, I thought I could handle it. All of a sudden, there was this “Whump” under the right rear wheel as I entered a right turn. The entire rear end shot up. The Samurai tilted. I started murmuring the words to “Nearer My God to Thee.”

I do not like this Samurai. I do not think it is “fun to drive” or any of that good-sounding, public-relations stuff. And I don’t care that it is, to quote Suzuki publicity, “the lowest-priced, four-wheel-drive vehicle on the market.”

Someone said it before me. I’ll repeat it here: “No one should have to take poverty this seriously.”

Major concern: This machine would not be so bad if it were sold as an exclusively off-road vehicle, meant to be driven relatively short distances at relatively low speeds. Indeed, it is quite popular in California and Florida, where it mostly shows up on beaches.

But Suzuki officials say that the Samurai increasingly is being bought as a vehicle to replace subcompact commuter cars. This bothers me. The Samurai handles quite poorly at highway speeds (and it takes forever to reach those speeds). It should not be the vehicle of choice for commuting high-school or college students, or for anyone else too impatient to nurse it along in traffic.

Good points: The Samurai easily shifts into four-wheel-drive — it even does better than some bigger and more expensive competitors. It digs into the dirt and muck in four-wheel-drive mode. It’ll get you through the goo. So take it up to the farm — but keep it there.

Engine: The Samurai comes with a 1.3-liter, four-cylinder inline, water-cooled, aluminum-block gasoline engine. It does well in the low gears. It strains mightily in fifth gear at speeds ranging from 50 mph to 65 mph. To attempt to drive this one any faster is insane.

Head-turning-quotient: Deceptively cute.

Sound system: AM/FM stereo radio and cassette by Suzuki. Plays second fiddle to the Samurai’s road and engine noises.

Mileage: About 27 to the gallon (10.6-gallon tank), combined city-highway, running driver only and with heater on most of the time.

Price-as-tested: $7,500 (convertible model), including $605 in options.