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GOLLY, Mom can be rough. She looked at the 1988 Merkur Scorpio andsaid, “Son, I don’t care what you think. That car looks like aconstipated frog.”

Pow! Right in the kisser! I stumbled, but didn’t fall.

“But that’s an extremely efficient, aerodynamic shape,” I said.

“Plugged frog,” she said.

“But it has more leg and cargo room than most five-passenger, luxurysedans,” I said.

“You’re talkin’ trash,” she said.

“But this car really moves,” I said. “I like it better than some BMWand Mercedes-Benz models.”

“Honey,” she said, pulling maternal rank, “you can preach all youwant. But a frog is a frog is a frog. And I’m not buying a frog justbecause you call it a fast, deluxe frog.”

Zzzap! I was down for the count. Wasted. A predictable outcome,actually. I never could win the last word with that woman — untilnow. Hee, hee.

Complaints: Mom’s okay, but so is the Scorpio, with some exceptions.

Take the test car’s climate-control system. It’s confusing. You can’tturn it off, and you gotta push too many buttons too many times to setthe electronically controlled thing. You get the feeling that, insteadof being in charge of the system, the system is in charge of you.

And this: The Scorpio’s made by Ford of Germany, a subsidiary of FordMotor Co., which has been hit with complaints of unexpectedpark-to-reverse shifts in some of its older automatic-transmission cars.

Ford seems to have gone overboard in the Scorpio to avoidpark-to-reverse problems. The floor-mounted automatic gearbox in thisone has so many notches and grooves, you need a map to get through them.

Praise: This is a fine machine that should do well in competitionagainst the Mercedes-Benz 190 series, BMW “3” and “5” series cars, theVolvo 700 series and the Saab 9000 and Audi 5000 S.

The Scorpio is a winner. Fit and finish are superior. Visibility istops. All-around interior comfort beats or matches anything in itsclass. So does versatility. This hatchback sedan easily converts to a37.2-cubic-foot cargo carrier with the rear seats down.

Ah, and Ford is guaranteeing the resale value of its Scorpio cars.Owners of well-kept, used Scorpios will get the same money as owners ofcomparably maintained and equipped used Mercedes-Benz 190 E models –if the Scorpio owner’s trading for another product made byLincoln-Mercury.

Ride, acceleration & handling: A real cruiser, like its sister carmade in the United States, the Merkur XR4Ti.

But the Scorpio has a bigger and smoother engine, a 2.9-liter,fuel-injected V-6, compared with the 2.3-liter, four-cylinder job in theXR4Ti. Horsepower in the Scorpio runs up to 144 at 5,300 rpm. A trulygood road car.

Head-turning quotient: Gets more favorable attention than any frog onthe lily pad, but draws many snickers, too. Not a body for everybody.

Sound system: Ford AM/FM stereo radio and cassette. Electronic. Sixspeakers. Excellent.

Mileage: About 20 to the gallon (16.9- gallon tank, 340-mile range),mostly highway, running driver-only most of the time.

Price: Oh, Momma! As tested, $26,263 — including $2,465 touringpackage (leather seats, power sunroof and trip computer). Optionalfour-speed automatic overdrive transmission is $550. Ford Motor Co. hasyet to establish the delivery charge, which can range from $300 to $475.Estimated dealer-invoice price on the tested model is $22,88O. The 1988Scorpio models are on sale this spring.