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WE TURNED onto Purgatory Road, some 50 miles outside of Austin, Tex. It was a narrow stretch, marked by potholes and strewn with gravel. You didn’t have to be a comedian to think of the joke: “If this is Purgatory, what’s Hell like?”

We found out. Hell is the central Texas “dip.” It’s a motorized dance that goes like this: Drive along a back road at moderate speeds. Watch for signs that say “Dip” or “Dip Ahead.” Ignore the signs. Then, whomp! Catch your gullet as the car drops a foot or so beneath the regular road surface. That’s the “dip.”

Sometimes, there are no warnings. Whomp! Whomp! Pretty soon, you get the idea, even if you’re driving a car as competent as the 1995 Neon Sport. In fact, it’s the Neon’s fault that we ignored the dips. We were seduced.

The Neon, Chrysler Corp.’s new subcompact car, has one of the best suspension systems around. The car takes curves, changes lanes and handles bad roads as well as some automobiles triple its price. I mean, you’d expect great performance from an expensive car. You don’t expect it from one priced around $12,000.

Anyway, we were so tickled by the Neon’s performance, we got a little crazy. We took some curves quicker than we should’ve with absolutely no problems. We ran through some “dips” that weren’t terribly dippy at all. Then, we went to Purgatory.

Dipppp! Whomp! Oh, Lord! I looked at my test-drive partner. He looked at me. We both should’ve been looking at the road, because . . . Dipppp! Whomp! Screeechhh!

“What’s that?”

“A low-water bridge.”

“Where are the guard rails?”

“There are no guard rails!”

Dip! Yipes! We stayed on the road. The Neon was okay. There were no broken bones. But our egos were bruised. And a little bit up the road, there was a sign that seemed to rub salt into our psychic wounds. It said: “Don’t Mess With Texas.”

Background: Folks selling Saturns, Civics, Escorts and other subcompact cars had better take notice: Chrysler Corp. is serious about taking away lots of your business.

The 1995 Neon is proof. It’s no ordinary economy car. It runs like heck, comes with standard dual-front air bags, 5-mph bumpers, side-impact-barrier protection designed to meet 1998 federal standards, top-notch suspension systems, more amenities than some luxury cars and a cute body.

At the moment, the front-wheel-drive, five-passenger Neon cars come with four doors only. A coupe will arrive next fall. There are three Neon models — base, Highline and Sport, with the Highline and Sport having spiffier interiors and such features as better sound insulation, remote deck lid release and power door locks.

Both come with the same whizzer of an engine — a 2-liter, in-line four-cylinder, 16-valve model rated 132 horsepower at 6,000 rpm. Maximum torque is set at 129 foot-pounds at 5,000 rpm. Lots of oomph, particularly for a car weighing 2,300 pounds. Anti-lock brakes are standard on the Sp ort and optional on the base model. A five-speed manual gearbox is standard. A three-speed automatic is optional.

Complaints: The high rear shelf in the Neon’s passenger cabin compromises rear-end visibility, at least for people my height, 5 feet 7 inches. Also, the tested Neon Sport had power door locks, but manual windows.

Praise: Finally there is an auto maker who understands that people who buy economy cars want cars that they can smile about, be proud of, and, yeah, love. The Neon is a triumph for those of us who are big of heart, but small of purse.

Head-turning quotient: Warm. Cute. Main squeeze.

Ride, acceleration and handling: The Neon meets or beats any subcompact economy car in all three categories. It sets a new standard — period. Braking is excellent — vented front discs up front, drum brakes in the rear, with anti-lock backup standard on the Sport.

Mileage: About 27 to the gallon (11.2-gallon tank, estimated 292-mile range on us ble volume of regular unleaded), running mostly highway with two occupants and no cargo.

Sound system: AM/FM electronic stereo radio with cassette and four speakers. Chrysler Infinity system. Excellent.

Price: Base price of the tested Neon Sport is $12,215. Dealer invoice is $11,068. Price as tested is $12,715, including a $500 destination charge.

Purse-strings note: The Neon, which goes on sale Jan. 31, is a very definite buy. Compare with any economy subcompact car. Base Neon prices start at $8,975. Most will go out the door for around $13,000. Chrysler officials claim that it will be difficult to pay more than $13,500 for a well-equipped Neon. Take ’em at their word.