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Feisty in All Temperatures
2004 Pontiac GTO

Ernie thought it was his hairpiece. But I said no sister would go for a black man with an Elvis Presley wig.

Anyway, the ladies kept coming to Ernie’s apartment on Chicago’s South Side. So he didn’t listen to me.

He had the women, and I, who rented a room in his flat, had the apartment to myself all weekend every weekend — until Ernie’s 1970 Pontiac GTO hardtop coupe broke down.

That happened on a Friday in February 1971 when General Motors Corp.’s quality was falling faster than Chicago’s winter temperatures. Ernie’s GTO wouldn’t start. No women called or visited that weekend. He stayed home.

“Hey, man,” I said. “I told you they just wanted your car.”

Ernie grunted a rebuttal, but the GTO was fixed by the next weekend. The women returned. He was gone.

That taught me something about the GTO. It is powerful. Power is seductive.

That means the 2004 GTO, the first Pontiac since 1974 to wear the initials for “gran turismo omologato,” should be a controlled substance.

It’s not so much that the new GTO looks hot. It lacks the dual air scoops and wide-split grille that characterized the car during its 1964-1974 run. It has none of the swagger of the older muscle car, none of its Detroit drag-strip funk.

Instead, the 2004 GTO has a polite suburban persona — although it squats close to the ground in the manner of a serious sports car.

But it takes only a twist of the ignition key to allay any suspicion that the new car is a poseur in the posse that included the 1964 Pontiac Tempest GTO and the 1970 Pontiac GTO Judge Convertible. When those cars worked, which they did throughout the summer, spring and autumn in Chicago, they were screamers.

Now comes the 2004 model with a Chevrolet Corvette-donated LS1 V-8 engine that kicks out 350 horsepower at 5,200 revolutions per minute and develops 365 foot-pounds of torque at 4,000 rpm. That means the car really launches from start. Pontiac’s engineers estimate zero to 60 miles per hour in 5.3 seconds with the optional six-speed manual model.

But I didn’t clock anything. I was having too much fun letting the car rip on an organized test run, letting it pin me back into its well-bolstered driver’s seat, listening to its exceptionally tuned exhaust note. Roarrravavavarrrooommm, whoosh! The GTO’s exhaust note passes through real dual exhaust pipes. That means two independent pipes, two catalytic converters and two mufflers. A structural crossover pipe is in place to hold the two pipes together.

Despite its considerable weight, 3,761 pounds, the GTO is remarkably stable, largely thanks to good weight distribution and a four-wheel independent suspension system.

Pontiac people are fond of talking about how the 2004 GTO marks GM’s return to “American muscle.” It is poetic license. The Italian “gran turismo omol ogato” means a “grand touring class production vehicle, homologated (made from different parts),” most often for racing purposes.

And so it is with the 2004 Pontiac GTO, derived from GM’s Australian Holden Monaro performance car and built in Australia using American and foreign components, including a very fine Blaupunkt audio system from Germany.

But if the new Pontiac GTO had been around in 1971 when I roomed with Ernie, I never would have seen him: The new car is screwed together right. All of its electrical components are properly sealed and shielded. It runs in the cold.

Nuts & Bolts

Downside: To meet U.S. fuel-tank integrity standards, GM/Pontiac moved the GTO’s gasoline tank from underneath the rear passenger compartment to a shielded location inside the trunk, cutting the trunk’s original 14 cubic feet of cargo space to 7 cubic feet. Also, the optional $695, six-speed Tremec manual transmission should be standard. The “standard” four- pe automatic version consumes more fuel and flirts with a gas-guzzler tax.

Ride, acceleration and handling: Thoroughly enjoyable in all categories.

Head-turning quotient: Not much on the outside. But the ergonomically excellent, color-coordinated interior is a winner.

Body style/layout: The GTO is a front-engine, rear-wheel-drive coupe. Only one option, the six-speed manual transmission, is available.

Engine/transmissions: The car’s 5.7-liter, 350-horsepower V-8 can be linked to a six-speed manual or four-speed automatic transmission.

Capacities: There is seating for four people. Limited cargo space at 7 cubic feet. Fuel capacity is 18.5 gallons of gasoline. Premium unleaded is required.

Mileage: I averaged 23 miles per gallon in mostly highway driving in the six-speed manual version, but I barely touched 21 mpg in the automatic model. A federal gas-guzzler tax of $1,000 is applicable to cars getting between 21.5 mpg and 22.5 mpg. No tax at 22.5 mpg and higher.

Safety: Standard anti-lock brakes, traction control and front (“soft” deployment) bags. No side bags or head bags.

Price: Base price is $31,795. Dealer’s invoice price on base model is $29,410. Price as tested is $33,190, including $695 for the six-speed manual transmission and a $700 transportation charge.

Purse-strings note: Total toy. Compare with 2004 Chevrolet Monte Carlo Supercharged SS, Ford Mustang SVT Cobra and Mazda RX-8.