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The wife now sports a blond wig. Says it makes her look like Heather Locklear.

We shaved our head, rested up against the fender of a Chevrolet Blazer and began twirling a basketball on our index finger.

Despite the golden locks, not one network or studio called the little woman, and even with a shaved noggin neither Jerry Krause nor Phil Jackson of the Bulls gave us a ring.

Guess it takes more than a bit of camouflage to make people believe you’re something that you aren’t.

Too bad the automakers don’t understand that basic premise.

Toyota, for example, just introduced a $47,500 sport-utility vehicle called the LX 450 from its luxury Lexus division. Unless you’ve spent the last few decades in a cave, you’ll recognize the LX 450 as a dolled up Toyota Land Cruiser, a $7,800 dolling up to be exact.

For several months, we’ve written about the emerging luxury sport-utility vehicle market and how several manufacturers want a piece of the action. The thinking is that if folks are buying up $25,000 to $35,000 compact sport-utes, why not offer them $40,000 to $50,000 versions and make even more money?

There are two ways to build a luxury sport-ute. You can, as Mercedes-Benz is doing, start with a clean sheet of paper and assemble a unique vehicle or you can toss leather seats into an existing vehicle and make people think you’ve come up with something new. The latter approach is like tossing on a blond wig in the hopes people will think Heather Locklear is hiding underneath.

We previously reported on the Acura SLX (Cartalk, Jan. 21), the new sport-ute from Honda’s luxury division that is an Isuzu Trooper under the Acura logo. A bit of a disappointment.

We now have tested the 1996 Lexus LX 450, and the disappointment has turned to dismay. The LX 450 is a Toyota Land Cruiser under the skin, with leather thrown in for good measure.

If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, it must be a duck. So when the LX 450 looks like a Land Cruiser and acts like a Land Cruiser, you expect the name badge to say Land Cruiser, not LX 450. You have to wonder how many folks are going to empty their pockets or purses of $47,500 for a $39,700 Toyota Land Cruiser with a Lexus logo on it.

Lexus general manager Jim Press admits the LX 450 started life as a Land Cruiser, but says the LX 450 is a swan, not a duck.

“The LX 450 offers the Lexus level of comfort and convenience,” he said. “The LX 450 has several things the Land Cruiser doesn’t–automatic climate control; a CD player in the console; the same leather as in the LS 400 sedan; seating for seven as standard; a Pioneer sound system; a more compliant, better-on-the-road ride; and a dealership experience that pampers the owner with such things as pickup and delivery for service or warranty work.”

Yet, we argued, this is badge engineering, plain and sim ple. For decades the competition scoffed at General Motors when it built one vehicle and put five names on it to make people believe it had just come out with a new car in the Chevrolet, Pontiac, Buick, Oldsmobile and Cadillac lineups.

Now the Japanese are doing it, calling a Trooper an Acura, a Land Cruiser a Lexus. Good grief, hasn’t anyone paid attention to the mayhem GM went through for producing cookie-cutter cars?

“You’ll see greater differences between the LX 450 and the Land Cruiser with the next generation LX 450,” Press promised, hinting that the new vehicle may have been a load-it-up-with-goodies rush job to gain quick entry into the luxury SUV market.

“If we had taken a Corolla and made it a Lexus, then that would have been badge engineering,” Press insisted. “Land Cruiser is a luxury vehicle to begin with. The typical buyer earns $200,000 annually. If it was introduced today rather than 25 years ago, it would have been a Lexus, not a Toy ta. We took what was a luxury vehicle to start with and made it more luxurious.”

The Lexus LX 450 we drove is a refined machine in that the suspension has been adjusted to provide for a smoother ride and better handling than the Land Cruiser. No jostling, no bouncing, no watching the horizon go from horizontal to vertical every time you take a sharp curve.

And the 4.5-liter, in-line 6-cylinder is rather muscular in providing a healthy 212 horsepower to ensure you spring from the stoplight or slip into the passing lane without hesitation.

For the quickness, however, you pay a hefty price–13 miles per gallon city/15 m.p.g. highway mileage. The fuel gauge needle seems hell bent on staying in the prone position.

“For SUV popularity to continue, you’ll have to see fewer tradeoffs between an SUV and a sedan in terms of both ride quality and gas mileage,” Press said.

He hinted that one way to boost mileage was to reduce some of the amenities that add weight. But another way to reduce weight would be to offer a luxury SUV without the all-wheel or four-wheel-drive hardware that adds hundreds of pounds and gulps fuel.

While most folks will compare the LX 450 and Acura SLX with the upcoming Mercedes-Benz AAV, or All-Activity Vehicle, Press said he doesn’t consider the AAV a Lexus LX 450 rival.

“They don’t compete with us in terms of size or amenities,” he said. “Ours is a larger vehicle that competes against Range Rovers and (Chevy) Suburbans. Mercedes AAV is an alternative to a sedan in the mid-$30,000 range that can carry four people comfortably but not a lot of their cargo or equipment. It’s more of a competitor with the Grand Cherokee.”

In the LX 450’s favor, and one of the reasons folks will want to display one in their driveway, is that it sports dual air bags, four-wheel anti-lock brakes and full-time all-wheel-drive. Safety and security are covered.

You also sit highin the saddle to see well down the road to avoid any hassles that may be waiting. The side mirrors are also nice and large for a great view of anything approaching.

Need more hauling space in back? The two rear seats fold down and then fold up against the vehicle sidewall to expose added, if narrow, cargo room.

But there are a few problems. One is getting in the vehicle with its steep step-in/step-out height. The vehicle sits high so you have ample clearance to take on any off-road trail. There are grab handles in the front pillars as well as in the roof above the door to aid your entry and exit. Better Lexus gave you a ladder.

Another gripe: There are only a few options, which is fine, but the price of those add-ons is rather steep–$1,050 for a console-mounted compact disc player and $1,250 for a power tilt/slide moonroof. For $1,050 you’d expect a live band with strings.

Standard equipment includes front and rear coil-spring suspension; gas-pressurized shocks; front and rear stabilizer bars; four-wheel, power-assisted disc brakes; 16-inch speed-rated (and we don’t understand why speed rated) tires; full-size spare tire; side-door beams; leather trim; remote keyless entry; cruise control; power windows; power remote outside mirrors; power locks; intermittent front and rear wipers; tinted glass; automatic climate control; rear heater controls; power seats; and AM/FM stereo with cassette.

Our test vehicle, with a$900 optional locking differential, $112 in carpeted floor mats, plus $495 in freight, ran $51,307.

>> 1996 Lexus LX450 Wheelbase: 112.2 inches Length: 189.8 inches Engine: 4.5-liter, 212-h.p., 24-valve, in-line 6 cylinder Transmission: 4-speed automatic EPA mileage: 13 m.p.g.city/15 m.p.g. highway Base price: $47,500 Price as tested: $50,812. Add $1,050 f r console-mounted, compact-disc player, $1,250 for power tilt/slide moonroof, $900 for front/rear locking differential and $112 for carpeted floor mats. Freight runs $495. Pluses: The Lexus name. A Lexus SUV for those who have a Lexus sedan or coupe. Dual air bags, ABS and full-time four-wheel-drive standard. 4.5-liter engine designed for optimum low-end torque for maximum pulling power. Second gear startup to prevent wheel slippage on icy pavement. Softer spring rates than Toyota Land Cruiser from which it is derived. Minuses: The mileage rating is abysmal. Only a few options because every conceivable amenity is standard, but the cost of those options will take your breath away, just like the 4.5-liter engine takes your gas away. >>