A Car for Yobbos
August 2, 2018
Twenty-one years ago, when the Type R had just come out, I thought it was brilliant. Stylish, powerful, not too flashy or look at me. It was perfect. Fast forward to present day. I get word that Honda has come out with a ne Civic Type R, and I think to myself, "Oh brilliant! Can't wait to review it". I was so excited in fact, that I couldn't wait. I went on the internet, and searched it up. Immediately, I began to cringe. It was hideous. Basically the opposite of the old one. Way too flashy, quite ugly, the lot. I hated it. But, I still had to test it. So, I called Honda, and asked if I could borrow one. They said they'd bring one round the next day. Great, perfect. So, the next day, I got up early, and it was sitting in my drive. Well, better get on with it. So, I got in and started it up. The engine made a low rumbling sound. I decided to pop down to the shops. So, I began driving. Fifteen minutes later, I was in London's West End. People turned their heads and gawked at me. They probably thought I was some superstar in an alien car or something. But, on with the review. The Honda is not bad for in-town driving. If you like paparazzi, then then you'll probably love this car, and hate me and want to attack me with a chainsaw. But, on that day in that car, I didn't want paparazzi. I wanted a thorough road test of the new Type R. And I got it. Overall, the performance is sublime. Plenty of horsepower, and a nice noise from the engine. Good handling, etc. But, the main issue I have with this car is its looks. It's hideous. It looks like a monster that some seven year old boy with a wild imagination would draw. The interior is a bit less scary. You've got climate control, a nice clean look. However, it's average. Hundreds of cars have interiors that look like that these days. So, if you're a yobbo from Mars, then this is the car for you. But, if you're just an average human, then get a Golf GTI instead. It's got plenty of horsepower, and you'll look less of a knob.